Emotional healing work is cyclical. It takes time, and patience; our own personal evolution doesn’t spare us from revisiting old issues time and again, so that we can see them through different eyes and deal with them in more mature, responsible ways. It takes self-forgiveness, because, at times, this cyclical route might feel like failure – like being trapped in the same old schemes, not really going anywhere. It takes courage, because the very act of re-opening old wounds can trigger feelings of frustration and despair.
Healing is not a straight road; there isn’t an actual start, or a finishing line. Most importantly, it’s not a race, and there are no “winners” or “losers” based on the speed or depth of our healing work.
If that was the case, Chiron would stand still. Motionless.
And yet, as it turns out, Chiron’s orbit is more eccentric than any planet or asteroid currently used in astrology – he’s the “maverick” for a reason. Nothing is more personal and idiosyncratic than the way we deal with our own pain and heal through it (I’ve previously elaborated on how and why I think the ‘five stages of grief’ model is, essentially, ableist and culturally deaf nonsense).
The next step in our healing journey begins on June 30, with Chiron’s yearly retrograde station happening at 28°52 Pisces. It is, again, a time in which we’re called to take the bandage off our recent wounds and search for the retained foreign bodies stuck under our skin – the ones that delay the wound healing and trigger systemic infections. It’s time to dig deep once more, no matter how many times we’ve done this before. It’s time to face the pain we’re afraid to feel, to experience it on a visceral level, to understand it, sweat it out. In short, to break the vicious circle of suffering that keeps us stuck in the past through the morbid attachment to unresolved, unlived pain.
Retrograde Chiron asks us to look back in order to realize what unnecessary part of our baggage we’re carrying with us into the future – the one that keeps us from getting closer to a state of balance and empowerment. For this reason, it’s common, during Chiron’s Rx phase, to notice an intensification of pre-existing issues around emotional pain, loss, inadequacy, vulnerability; depending on the extent to which this transit affects our chart, we might also feel more sensitive and easily hurt.
None of this is a symptom of failure. It’s part of our journey as human beings. If anything, our willingness to allow Chiron to take us back to the roots and the core of our pain is a testament to our strength and faith in ourselves.
Freedom waits for us on the other side.
Chiron stations direct on December 5, 2017, at 24°19 Pisces.
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